第4章 这里是美国(3)

Matters of the Heart. This is a tricky one.Sometimes you'll run into people who cannot wait to pour their hearts out to you.Then some people do not always ensure that their private affairs known to outsiders.The general rule is not to get too personal， too fast.You don't want others to think that you are looking into their lives.Therefore， try not to ask too many questions about someone's love life， marriage and family until you have a friendship with this person.Even then， you better wait for your friend to come to you with the matters of their heart.

Anyhow， it's difficult to always avoid conversation landmines， so you must be sensible， watch your steps and avoid sensitive taboos.

年龄。是的，对许多美国人来说，年龄是个非常敏感的问题，特别是对年过30的女人来说更是如此。在这个崇尚年轻的文化中，变老是很痛苦的事。我们大多数人，如果有可能的话，都不想沾它的边儿。所以，许多美国人竭力想维持外貌的年轻，他们最不愿别人问及的问题就是：“你到底有多大年纪了？”

体重。这也是最敏感的话题之一。在美国，长得瘦是不错，甚至会让人羡慕，但超重就让人极为难堪，是种罪过。实际上，你越瘦，别人会认为你越漂亮。随便翻翻美国任意一本时尚杂志，你会发现大多数模特都是皮包骨头。不管你信不信，细高的身材可是最酷的。美国人很关注体重，且极少透露他们的体重……即使他们很瘦，身材很好。所以，你还是别问为妙。但如果你非得要讲，那就说：“噢，你看起来掉磅了”比“噢，你看起来像是重了几磅”常常要稳妥。然而，如果你想说实话但又不伤人，你要用词小心，或许可以说：“嘿，你看起来棒极了，很健康。”千万要记住，那不是脂肪，是肌肉。

收入。你绝对不要问别人挣多少钱，这本来没什么可说的。但你完全可以问他们的工作头衔或以什么为生。这个信息可以让你对他们一年挣多少有所了解。

心里的事。这是个很微妙的问题。有时你会碰到迫不及待向你倾诉心声的人。但有些人时刻确保自己的私事不为外人知晓。总的原则是，不要太急于跟人谈个人私事。不要让人认为你在刺探他们的生活。所以，不要对别人的爱情、婚姻和家庭情况提太多问题，直到你跟此人结成了朋友。即便那时，你最好还是等着你的朋友带着心事来找你谈。

不管怎样，在谈话中往往难免触雷，所以头脑要清醒些，行事要注意些，尽量不要触及那些忌讳的话题。

5.The Other Side of the Angels—American Dream 彼岸的天使——美国梦

●The Definition of the American Dream 美国梦的定义

The so-called American dream is a belief that in the United States people will be able to achieve the ideal of a better life after a hard struggle， meaning that people have to work through their own hard work， courage， creativity and determination to move towards prosperity， rather than rely on specific social classes and other assistance. This is usually on behalf of the people in the economic success or entrepreneurial spirit.Many European immigrants hold the American dream of the ideal of the United States.Despite some criticism think that the American dream has excessive emphasis on material wealth and happiness in the measure of victory on the role， but many Americans really believe that， the chance of success in the world is not found in other countries.As the majority of other countries are different， in the United States people has considerable economic freedom， and the role of government is limited， this makes the United States a great social mobility， a person may have through their own efforts towards the peak.From the independence of the United States until the end of nineteenth Century， the majority of the land is uninhabited and anyone can occupy and invest it.By the time of the Industrial Revolution， the huge natural resources and advanced industrial technology make the social mobility come into fact， and this trend is still increasing day by day.

所谓美国梦，是一种相信只要在美国经过努力不懈的奋斗便能获得更好生活的理想，亦即人们必须通过自己的勤奋、勇气、创意和决心迈向繁荣，而非依赖于特定的社会阶级和他人的援助。通常这代表了人们在经济上的成功或是企业家的精神。许多欧洲移民都是抱持着美国梦的理想前往美国的。尽管有些人批评美国梦过度强调了物质财富在衡量胜利和快乐上扮演的角色，但许多美国人的确认为，这种获得成功的机会在世界上其他国家是找不到也并不存在的。因为与其他大多数国家不同的是，美国拥有的经济自由相当多，政府扮演的角色相当有限，这使得美国的社会流动性极大，任何人都有可能通过自己的努力迈向巅峰。从美国独立直至19世纪末期，广大的土地都无人居住，任何有心人都可以占据并加以投资和开垦。而到了工业革命时期，美国丰富的自然资源和先进的工业技术则使得社会快速的流动变成可能，而且这种趋势仍在一天一天地发展。

●The Meaning of the American Dream 美国梦的内涵

300 years ago， when England immigrants took across the Atlantic with the Mayflower to Maryland， looking for a piece of the living "pure land，" "American Dream" has begun to quietly sprouting to the world—as long as you work hard， you can realize your dream. After 300 years， the country has become a land of plenty， however， the American Dream did not die， with the change of history， it has a more "connotation".What is the American Dream？ "Many historians and sociologists give their ideas from different perspectives， different people have different interpretation." This is the answer when university of California at Los Angeles professors of history Ron Mailer received Global magazine reporter.But generally speaking， the American Dream contains several elements： the United States provides all chances of success； success depends on his ability and effort， rather than family and background； everyone has equal rights； everyone has the freedom of belief. "These elements are inseparable from the history and background of the times， they must be read in conjunction withtimes." Ron Mailer said.

300年前，当英格兰移民乘坐着五月花号横穿大西洋来到马里兰，寻找一块清教徒能居住的“净土”时，“美国梦”已开始悄然萌芽——美国给了全世界每一个人均等的机会，只要努力奋斗，都可以实现自己的梦想。300年后，这个国家已成富饶之邦，然而，美国梦并没有消逝，只是随着历史的变迁，它拥有了更多的“内涵”。何为美国梦？“众多历史学家和社会学家对美国梦的观点不一，不同的美国人也有不同的解读。”加州大学洛杉矶分校历史学教授朗·梅勒接受《环球》杂志记者采访时如此回答。不过一般而言，美国梦包含几个要素：美国提供了人人都能成功的机会；成功取决于自己的才能和努力，而不是家世和背景；人人都拥有平等的权利；人人都有信仰的自由。“这些要素是与历史密不可分的，也必须和时代背景结合起来看，”朗·梅勒说。

●The Original Dream of Land and Gold 土地和黄金的原始梦

In Europe of 18th century and 19th century， the aristocracy has not quit the stage of history， social hierarchy， inequitable distribution of wealth， religious discrimination seriously existed… Montesquieu， Descartes and other pioneer of the Enlightenment， began to give endless praise to the United States. This also sparked the vulnerable groups of the American dream.

Immigrants to the United States of 18th century were vulnerable groups in Europe， the most typical were Puritan in England and the bankruptcy of farmers in German， when they came to the colonies， the requirements of political equality was particularly strong which promoted democracy. Thus， "equal rights" became the meaning of American dream.