第102章

"LOVE NEVER FAILETH"

Garth was standing at the open window, when Nurse Rosemary re-entered the library; and he did not turn, immediately.

She looked anxiously for the letter, and saw it laid ready on her side of the table.It bore signs of having been much crumpled;looking almost as a letter might appear which had been crushed into a ball, flung into the waste-paper basket, and afterwards retrieved.

It had, however, been carefully smoothed out; and lay ready to her hand.

When Garth turned from the window and passed to his chair, his face bore the signs of a great struggle.He looked as one who, sightless, has yet been making frantic efforts to see.The ivory pallor was gone.His face was flushed; and his thick hair, which grew in beautiful curves low upon his forehead and temples, and was usually carefully brushed back in short-cropped neatness, was now ruffled and disordered.But his voice was completely under control, as he turned towards his secretary.

"My dear Miss Gray," he said, "we have a difficult task before us.Ihave received a letter, which it is essential I should hear.I am obliged to ask you to read it to me, because there is absolutely no one else to whom I can prefer such a request.I cannot but know that it will be a difficult and painful task for you, feeling yourself an intermediary between two wounded and sundered hearts.May I make it easier, my dear little girl, by assuring you that I know of no one in this world from whose lips I could listen to the contents of that letter with less pain; and, failing my own, there are no eyes beneath which I could less grudgingly let it pass, there is no mind I could so unquestioningly trust, to judge kindly, both of myself and of the writer; and to forget faithfully, all which was not intended to come within the knowledge of a third person.""Thank you, Mr.Dalmain," said Nurse Rosemary.

Garth leaned back in his chair, shielding his face with his hand.

"Now, if you please," he said.And, very clearly and quietly, Nurse Rosemary began to read.

"DEAR GARTH, As you will not let me come to you, so that I could say, between you and me alone, that which must be said, I am compelled to write it.It is your own fault, Dal; and we both pay the penalty.For how can I write to you freely when I know, that as you listen, it will seem to you of every word I am writing, that Iam dragging a third person into that which ought to be, most sacredly, between you and me alone.And yet, I must write freely;and I must make you fully understand; because the whole of your future life and mine will depend upon your reply to this letter.Imust write as if you were able to hold the letter in your own hands, and read it to yourself.Therefore, if you cannot completely trust your secretary, with the private history of your heart and mine, bid her give it you back without turning this first page; and let me come myself, Garth, and tell you all the rest.""That is the bottom of the page," said Nurse Rosemary; and waited.

Garth did not remove his hand."I do completely trust; and she must not come," he said.

Nurse Rosemary turned the page, and went on reading.

"I want you to remember, Garth, that every word I write, is the simple unvarnished truth.If you look back over your remembrance of me, you will admit that I am not naturally an untruthful person, nor did I ever take easily to prevarication.But, Garth, I told you one lie; and that fatal exception proves the rule of perfect truthfulness, which has always otherwise held, between you and me;and, please God, always will hold.The confession herein contained, concerns that one lie; and I need not ask you to realise how humbling it is to my pride to have to force the hearing of a confession upon the man who has already refused to admit me to a visit of friendship.You will remember that I am not naturally humble; and have a considerable amount of proper pride; and, perhaps, by the greatness of the effort I have had to make, you will be able to gauge the greatness of my love.God help you to do so--my darling; my beloved; my poor desolate boy!"Nurse Rosemary stopped abruptly; for, at this sudden mention of love, and at these words of unexpected tenderness from Jane, Garth had risen to his feet, and taken two steps towards the window; as if to escape from something too immense to be faced.But, in a moment he recovered himself, and sat down again, completely hiding his face with his hand.

Nurse Rosemary resumed the reading of the letter.

"Ah, what a wrong I have done, both to you, and to myself! Dear, you remember the evening on the terrace at Shenstone, when you asked me to be--when you called me--when I WAS--YOUR WIFE? Garth, I leave this last sentence as it stands, with its two attempts to reach the truth.I will not cross them out, but leave them to be read to you;for, you see Garth, I finally arrived! I WAS your wife.I did not understand it then.I was intensely surprised; unbelievably inexperienced in matters of feeling; and bewildered by the flood of sensation which swept me off my feet and almost engulfed me.But even then I knew that my soul arose and proclaimed you mate and master.And when you held me, and your dear head lay upon my heart, I knew, for the first time the meaning of the word ecstasy; and Icould have asked no kinder gift of heaven, than to prolong those moments into hours."Nurse Rosemary's quiet voice broke, suddenly; and the reading ceased.

Garth was leaning forward, his head buried in his hands.A dry sob rose in his throat, just at the very moment when Nurse Rosemary's voice gave way.

Garth recovered first.Without lifting his head, with a gesture of protective affection and sympathy, he stretched his hand across the table.

"Poor little girl," he said, "I am so sorry.It is rough on you.If only it had come when Brand was here! I am afraid you MUST go on;but try to read without realising.Leave the realising to me."And Nurse Rosemary read on.